Focus

Church is primarily a verb, and a secondarily a noun. Church is an action, something you Do. Church is a contact sport. Church is something you get your hands in deep, and squeeze all the glorification and honor and praise and focus you can out of it. It's not something we should attend. It's a movement that we should actively, thoughtfully, profoundly participate in.

I see people in church who are just there because it's What You Are Supposed To Do. I have Done It All My Life. I know I am Supposed To Be Here. Just... attending. I'm not blameless, I'm perhaps the worst of these... but lately, I've been looking for something different as I step into church.

Recently I started attending "my own" church. I chose for myself a Home. The people at this church are more loving than any I have ever met. They have welcomed me with open arms, and I feel more at ease with myself around them than I ever have. "Acceptance" isn't a word I've used often in my life because I've never understood it. I love these people. I can feel God working in them and through them. In the comfort of their company, in the safety of the house of God that they inhabit, I find myself free to worship. I've never felt that way before. I can close my eyes, worship, pray, raise my arms, cry, mouth silent prayers... and not worry about what people think. I'm just in a moment with God, spending a few hours focusing on Him in the way I should be the rest of my week anyway. I don't want distractions, I don't even need to sit with friends. I'm in God's house and I have His company, and it's my time to sit at His feet and ignore everything else... just listening to Him. This wonderful church family allows me to do that.

Since I've learned this, I've started to see so many ways God takes care of me. Lately, all the sermons pierce my heart to the core. All the songs minister to me deeply. All the words from my Church family uplift and edify me. God's holding onto me tight.

I never understood church could be like this, before. Now I pray that it never leaves me.